Life as a Foster Mom Part 3

15 Apr Life as a Foster Mom Part 3

How to start the process of fostering and gather support and resources.

Where does a new foster-parent-in-training begin?

When I was adopting, we started through Lifeline Children’s Services. I knew they had an international program for adoption and were Christian-based, which was perfect for me because I wanted that type of support and training. For fostering, I googled places that advertised a way to contact and find resources if you were interested in foster parenting, like the Department of Human Resources (DHR) and Child Protective Services (CPS).

Knowing what training to use can be overwhelming, though the training itself is helpful. DHR required around 15 CEU’s per year for my husband and I each, which added up to about 30 total. Now, I only choose good ones that apply to me and not just anything I see that might not be useful in my case. My favorite training my husband and I do is Hope for the Journey by Steven Curtis Chapman with Show Hope. I get something new out of it every time. There are always new things I need to know how to deal with. The way I was raised is not always the way my kids need to be raised. I’ve had to change the way I look at things because their unique experiences have been different from my experience. Hope for the Journey’s training gives you the big picture and shows you what it’s like from people who have walked the same journey. I highly recommend their training specifically, every single year.

How do you handle seeking resources for children who have experienced trauma or have disabilities?

I am very proactive in seeking extra support. When children are 0-3, they can seek extra help from places like United Ability. They provide in-home care, like speech and occupational therapy. They do an assessment and if your child scores at a certain percentile, they come in and perform these services. I have reached extra support for all of our babies. We have counseling, neurofeedback, psychiatrists, and doctors that are all a part of our big team. I want our kids to feel that just because they were born with this difficulty, doesn’t mean God doesn’t have a plan for them. I want to give these children all the tools to succeed.

It took a lot of research and calling people to find resources. It has been successful when I finally find the right people. Sometimes you go to the wrong people and you don’t know it because you are desperate and end up receiving more judgement than support. It can cause you to doubt yourself to question, “Am I the problem,” or, “is it my parenting?” I have to have thick skin and retell my child’s story a lot. It’s really frustrating and upsetting sometimes. If they haven’t walked a similar path or worked closely with trauma, some people can be very naive and judgemental to you.

What ways can others get involved to help the local foster care system?

My family has done some things to offer support. We’ve made overnight bags for foster kids that have been placed into care because often they don’t get to come with everything from their home. Most of the time, they have nothing. We would pack a blanket, soap, and maybe a stuffed animal and take the bags to DHR, where they hand them to people for placements that come in. That was a way we became a resource before we were ever foster parents. 

Places to do this:
Grace House (residential girls care): Make gift bags for girls they welcome in.

Big Oak Ranch: Buy Christmas toys and they can go into a boutique and can buy whatever they want.

Training resources: Hope for the Journey (TBRI), they teach you how to be connection-minded, meet basic needs first, how to repair connections between biological parents, ShowHope, etc. 

There are also plenty of resources for foster parenting, training, support, health care, parenting children with trauma or disabilities, and more on our website. Click here to visit our Resource Page.

Final Thoughts:

There are plenty of resources available for foster and adoptive families. Sometimes the hardest part is just finding the ones that work for you and knowing what is out there to begin with. It can feel like there is not someone out there who can help you. Don’t let your unique situation discourage you into thinking that you are alone. There are so many organizations and resources working together to provide the help and care that foster families need for all various types of situations. Our hope is that you feel more encouraged, hopeful, and inspired after reading this foster mom’s story and know that you are not alone. We are all here to help. 

It isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but in the dark, stormy times, there is always a helping hand reaching out for you. If you feel a calling to open your home to a needy child or to support families that are fostering or adopting, don’t hesitate! If you feel called to make changes in the system to provide better lives and chances for the foster world, go for it! Find your community, seek out resources, and take the charge. Like this foster mom said, once you fall in love with a child or family that your heart desires helping, there is no going back. Take the chance, take the classes, and reach out for support that is most certainly available for you! There are so many children out there in need with limited homes available for them. There are many families struggling and need support from their community. You could be their saving grace!