Trauma is Stored in the Body

July 14, 2026•6 min read

I remember when I felt chained to my trauma. I was super reactive to triggers and would resort to quick anger, fear, or anxiety. It happened every time I felt like I was being attacked, even when most of the time I was not. I did not understand why this happened for so long. I felt out of control, like I was being held captive. I later realized it was my body still living in survival mode - the mode it was trained to be in for so long. If someone told me I made a mistake or did something wrong, I would get defensive. It wasn’t because I did not care what I had done, but because I cared too much. I was afraid of what would happen now that I had messed up. Would I be hurt, left, unloved, or unworthy?

I also had trouble with navigating my anxiety. One time I was about to have a simple confrontation with someone. We were just supposed to have an adult conversation and find a way to solve our problem. Before the meeting, I was panicking. No matter how much I told myself I was safe, still, my body would not stop trembling to the point I wanted to throw up. I tried to assure myself that I was an adult fully capable of having a simple conversation and there was nothing to be afraid of. I was not in any physical danger.

I tried using the coping mechanisms I’d learned in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), “What are five things you hear, smell, see, feel, and taste?” I tried breathing exercises to calm my breathing down. Nothing worked. I kept asking myself what was wrong with me. I knew I was safe, a strong, capable adult, and there was nothing to fear. Unfortunately, my body could not understand that logic.

It was that moment that I realized something deeper was wrong. I had been in therapy my whole life, but CBT seemed to only be helpful in the processing and accepting part of my trauma, but the trauma was deeper than I thought. I did some research to try and figure out what I could do to help. Because I had been in survival mode for so long, my brain and body developed a way of living to help me get through any dangerous environment.

After living that way for so long, it became hard to distinguish the difference in healthy human interactions, and actual danger. Even in places I knew I was safe, my body still detected danger and reacted to that feeling. I had to do something. That was when I found out about trauma being stored in the body, EMDR and somatic therapy.

Different Types of Therapy

CBT (talk therapy / psychotherapy):

“CBT helps you become aware of thinking patterns that may be creating issues in your life. Looking at the relationship between your thoughts, feelings and behaviors helps you view challenging situations more clearly and respond to them in a more effective way,” (Mayo Clinic).

EMDR:

“Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is a mental health treatment technique. This method involves moving your eyes a specific way while you process traumatic memories. EMDR’s goal is to help you heal from trauma or other distressing life experiences,” (Cleveland Clinic). This therapy helps regulate your nervous system and heal parts inside of you that are wounded.

Somatic:

“Somatic therapy is a form of body-centered therapy that looks at the connection of mind and body and uses both psychotherapy and physical therapies for holistic healing. In addition to talk therapy, somatic therapy practitioners use mind-body exercises and other physical techniques to help release the pent-up tension that negatively affects a patient’s physical and emotional wellbeing,” (Psychology Today).

Once I found someone who was a good fit, we started work immediately. Something she told me was, sometimes when I feel anxiety, it is my younger self who was in danger and she was crying out for help. Once I had that imagery, I could see that my older self was no longer in danger, but I needed to care for that little girl inside that needed help and never got the security she needed.

The hardest part for me in EMDR was being willing to feel to heal. I had suppressed feeling pain for a long time because I was afraid it would be too much to handle. Something my friend once told me was, “You are so afraid of feeling anything.” And that is when it really hit me. I had been escaping the inevitable for too long. I needed to feel to heal or else everything inside was going to remain there. I had to learn that my feelings were not going to harm me. That I could handle them, if processed with care and support.

I often find myself fighting the vulnerability that comes with it. I hate the uncomfortable feeling of caring for myself and letting myself feel things. I always thought I was wasting time feeling sorry for myself instead of just being strong and fighting through it. But true strength is being willing to feel and do the hard work to heal the wounds hidden inside. During therapy, when I get resistant to letting myself feel, I often ask myself, “If I’m not going to do the work, why am I even here then?” And that is when I build up the courage and make myself let it all in.

It is safe to say I can now have difficult conversations without feeling like I am dying, and I do not instantly resort to reactive anger when I am told I messed up. When I get hurt, I do not instantly react, but instead take the time to ask, “what is my anger, hurt, or anxiety trying to tell me here?” I figure out what is really going on, process it, and find a better way to approach the situation. I never did that before. It is only possible now thanks to the journey of healing the trauma stored in the body.

I am not fully healed either. It is a process and takes time. There are many moments I see myself slip up and react in ways I used to, or I find new things I have to work on. But I see more progress in my growth than I have ever seen before. Every day I must choose to work for it, but it is possible. Your past does not have to define you or hold you back. I know it sometimes feels like you are stuck in quicksand, but if you stop trying to get out in a panic and take a moment to feel what is going on, you might find yourself rising to the surface to freedom before you know it.

Trauma is Stored in the Body

Different Types of Therapy

Further Reading & Resources: