Why Foster Care Might Be Your Calling

What do you think of when you hear the words: Foster Care? Do you see a happy family welcoming their new foster child into their home? Do you see group homes and chaos? Do you see a child celebrating their adoption day, or a kid full of anger and having behavioral problems?

A common misconception about foster care is that kids are delinquents and will bring nothing but trouble into the home. Something to understand is that what they have been through is not their fault. These are children who need guidance and unconditional love. They need someone to take a chance on them and provide a safe home where they can feel secure.

They need trauma-informed care provided to them. These children have been through difficult things that cause them trauma. This means they require different care and parenting styles. Foster children need patience. This does not make them any less worthy of love or care. They deserve every bit of our heart and effort we can give. They just need someone to give them a chance. Could that person be you?

What does being a foster parent look like?

Well, first you need to figure out why you may want to be a foster parent. Many parents go into this with a heart to help someone but are not willing to dig into the weeds when it gets tough. Sometimes lack of training and preparation can lead a parent to feel overwhelmed and unequipped. Because of this, many children are returned back into the system.

These children are more perceptive than you think and can sense whether your heart is in it for the right reasons or not. If you have it in your heart to want to make a difference in a child’s life and are willing to offer that unconditional, safe love that every child deserves, then this may be your calling.

We asked foster parents what it looked like for them:

“Being a foster parent is one of the greatest blessings and joys of my life! It is also one of the hardest things I've ever done...and it's made me a better person because of that.”

“Sometimes we feel like our kids are "too much" for another person to handle. That's not true, but we need you to offer...it's hard for us to ask.”

“I got to experience teaching a child how to read and what it’s like to have a family meal. I got to take them to church and let them experience being loved by so many other people!”

It means understanding and not blaming the child for the things that have affected them that are of no fault of their own. It can look like having to navigate getting too attached while knowing at some point, they may move on or be reunited with their relative family. Corey McKinney says in his book, Foster Dad, “I chose to look at my home like it was a temporary rehab center. Hopefully my time, knowledge, love, and guidance helped them enough to heal and grow to be better when they left than when they came in,” (McKinney).

But what does being a foster child look like?

Being a foster child can look like many things. It can look like sudden, abrupt changes throughout your life. It looks like spending a lot of time outside of school talking to social workers. It can mean learning to adapt and learn new home environments with different placements. It looks like aging out of the system and having to navigate independence before ever finding a permanent placement.

But it can also mean learning new skills that equip you for life’s challenges and becoming a wiser, stronger person. It can mean learning to trust people again and healing childhood wounds that later become tools to make you the best version of yourself. It looks like helping other people by using your experiences for mentorship.

We asked foster children what being a foster child looked like for them:

“It often looked like wondering if I’d ever find a place to call home.”

“Every day was a challenge. Every day there were adults making choices about my life while I was living it. Out of my control.”

“My teenage years in foster care were eventful. In certain parts I felt loved, safe, and supported, but they were still chaotic and unpredictable years.”

“It was challenging because no matter how normal I was, I never really fit in. No matter where I went I was always judged for being a foster kid.”

“I am thankful to an extent. As I aged out, I was unprepared but determined, mentally exhausted and ready to get to the finish line.”

“I tried my hardest in everything I did because I built a mentality that I’m only here for me. I used it as fuel to become the best I could be.

“My foster families and first adoption made me feel loved and supported. They showed me that I am worthy of love and that I'm not just a number.”

“I had to learn new family dynamics with people who went from being my grandparents to my parents.”

“I was forced to spend far too long fixing things that were done to me that were not my fault.”

“I found strength in places I never knew I’d find it. I found my purpose in a place of pain.”

“I feel such gratitude towards people who didn’t have to take me in, but did anyway out of pure, unconditional love.”

It means fighting harder to keep going even when life seems impossible. It means using the skills you learn in survival as tools to crawl back to the surface for air. It means choosing to heal and thrive despite your experiences; not letting yourself be defined by your past, but empowered by it. No matter what your background or journey, you are worthy of love and care. You are worthy of a better life and it is up to you to decide to take it. Things may never be the same as they were or could have been, but can also end up greater than you imagine.

What ways can you make a difference in a child’s life besides being a foster parent?

Volunteer! If you are in need of volunteer hours for school, want to dip your toe in the foster world, or you just have a heart to help in some way, you can volunteer with an agency or organization. Many organizations like us are always looking for volunteers. There is no such thing as too much help. You can make a huge difference just by supporting advocates in your community, and trust us, we need it. You are not only supporting organizations, you are supporting children in need. Our community needs unity. If you feel the desire to connect with your community and bring people together through a joined effort of helping children in need, this is the place for you!

Become a mentor! Foster parenting is a big commitment, so if you want to do more than volunteer but aren’t quite ready to become a foster parent, mentorship is another great option. The opportunity to impact a single child’s life through one on one guidance and counsel is an amazing way to make a difference. Maybe you have a similar background or have been through other hardships yourself, or you really just love motivating young minds in need of guidance. Whatever your passion may be, mentorship may be your calling. These children are in need of healthy, proper guidance to grow and heal. They need someone like you who cares enough to help them navigate the complex, harsh world we live in.

Another way you can make a difference is through general support. This can look like simple donations, sharing an organization's activity with others you know who may benefit from their services, helping spread awareness of the needs of the foster system, or even showing up to events to get to know the needs of your community and what you can do about them. The smallest efforts still make the biggest differences. If you are not sure you want to make a big commitment to the foster community yet, but you do want to do something, this may be a place where you can start!

Regardless of what route you take, you can make a difference in some way. Everyone has a purpose, and no matter your background, you have the power to make change in your community. These children need and deserve it, so if you feel a pull towards wanting to get involved, this may be your calling. Whether it is through foster parenting, mentorship, volunteering, or support, we invite you to take the chance. See where your calling takes you.

If you need a place to start, check out our website to see how!

You can also email us: [email protected]

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